Scott Takacs opens up about his experience coming out at as a 42-year-old man.
By Good Morning America Jun 18, 2019 1:16 AM
Coming out at 42
I was 42 years old when I came out to my wife. It was 15 months later that I started that same conversation with my three boys -- 9-year-old twins and an 11-year-old.
The whole experience is somewhat of a blur, mostly in part to the fact that at that point in my life there was a lot of change happening and some significant pent-up emotions. There wasn't much of a plan, no guidebook in hand, only goals that I hoped my boys would start the process of understanding and accepting their dad for whom I truly was: a gay man.
It had been a long 15 months since coming out to my wife, an experience I unfortunately wouldn't describe as positive, fun or something I ever want to repeat. It was wrought with the happiness of finally telling the closest person in my true identity, while simultaneously ripping her world out from under her. With many emotions and stress, I accepted her request to keep the reason for our divorce -- due to me being gay -- a secret for at least another year. This included keeping it from our kids and her side of the family.
When the moment to break the news to my kids finally came, I had a lot of issues to navigate. Over 15 months, I had finalized the divorce, moved again and taken a new job based in Chicago, 250 miles away from my boys. The distance was to create some space between my now ex-wife, who struggled being in proximity to me.
I had decided I needed to be safe, free of the stress and emotionally sane to be a good father to my boys, even if that meant transitioning from every involved dad day-to-day to a day shuttling between Chicago and the suburbs of Detroit multiples times a month. Chicago offered the stability I needed in a job, friendship and at this point, a new relationship that all contributed to my healing in this new gay world.